amster-DAY-UM

1 Oct

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When I arrived in Amsterdam I knew a couple of things. First, I had just flown in from Morocco and I had “Madina” all over me. Second, I just spent the night *sleeping outside on the ground, on a piece of cardboard, 20 feet away from the homeless, (they also think the Barcelona train station is a good place to crash. I can get down with all kinds of people). Third, I just traveled on local trains for 10 hours to get to Amsterdam and fourth, (warning to men, this will gross you out. Shit, it may even gross women out), but I was having a full fledge period and it felt like there was a little man driving a big tractor on my uterus. That’s not the gross part. At my very first step onto the Amsterdam sidewalk, my body decided to go, “hey lady! I don’t want your stupid tampon in me anymore. I’m going to push it out. Oh, you’re wearing baggy pants? You mean I could fall out of the bottom of your pants thereby mortifying you in front of Lucas’ friend you just met? I don’t give a shit. Fuck you.”

So upon meeting the lovely Barry, I gave him a hug and smiled.

“Uh, I am trying to deal with a tampon that keeps coming out. How long is the walk?”

“10 minutes.”

“I can do that.”

Thank GOD Lucas loves and accepts my openness. We all had a good laugh while I held my crotch in fear.

How do I explain Amsterdam to those who have never been there and how do I do it justice for those who know what I’m talking about? Amsterdam looks like a quirky cartoon where every house and building is beautiful and whimsical. It is full of skinny, tall buildings, with round soft embellishments and a hook at the very top of each building so they can pulley furniture to the top because the staircases are too narrow. The people are laid back, bikes are rulers of all things, and they have wonderful, delicious food.

When I arrived in Amsterdam, I immediately took a shower and upon making myself decent with a towel and wrapping this fine **curvy thing I call a body up, Barry walked over to the bathroom where I had opened the door and handed me a glass of red wine. It was at that moment that my auditory senses really kicked in and I realized that Billy Holiday was playing. Oh wait, what’s that? and garlic is sizzling? Clearly, I like Barry.

This post is short. It doesn’t have a great long adventurous story. It is however, etched in my mind as the moments after a very long, long travel period, being awake for 24 hours and a interesting start to a wonderful time in Amsterdam.

*I did not sleep. Not by choice, I just couldn’t. Lucas however, slept like a baby.

** Curvy as in traveling Europe for five weeks curvy, ya dig?

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6 Responses to “amster-DAY-UM”

  1. Jane October 1, 2013 at 11:14 pm #

    Hilarious! And Barry sounds like a gem!

  2. Heather B October 1, 2013 at 11:22 pm #

    I will laugh at the expense of you. The tampon story made me laugh. A lot. You have to find the silver lining in every situation. xoxo

    • lutanatravel October 2, 2013 at 6:13 am #

      Laugh away cousin, it’s the way to a good life! Love you!

  3. Jessie October 2, 2013 at 12:54 am #

    A very long long travel period….no pun intended??

  4. Deadly October 3, 2013 at 2:40 am #

    Ahhhh Amsterdam…..alstublieft.

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