this story has a key message: a coruna

16 Oct
sailing on the Atlantic with Jordan and friends. uh, yes please

sailing on the Atlantic with Jordan and friends. uh, yes please

I like to think of it as Ahhhhhh, Corunaaaa…

This place is stocked with pathways for runners and walkers alike. It also has a Tapas section that consists of a three or four block radius where one can wonder and get lost amongst the restaurants in search of a good drink. Once you order one drink, magic shows up. For example, whenever I ordered a glass of wine, I received a piece of tortilla (Spanish omelet), or a piece of baguette with cheese, or some soup, or whatever delicious morsel those brilliant bartenders had behind the bar. Whatever it is, it is delightful and amazing. But this is not what stands out in A Coruna. It is the people and experiences that shine.

Jordan, oh sweet, hilarious Jordan. An Australian living in A Coruna for work. He’s a legend, really, and one of the best hosts from Couch Surfing that we have had the absolutely pleasure to be with. We immediately fell in love with him. I think he was taken back by my sense of humour at first, (we were on the ground, laughing in the hallway after one very inappropriate joke at one point) and I had fun listening to his rationalization of female and male relations. I must elaborate.

While we were sailing on the Atlantic ocean with Jordan and his friends, we all got into a discussion about woman and men. Spain is “machismo” in comparison to Canada and I was interested in this. As we discussed this, the topic naturally lead to sex as it’s always a favourite topic when comparing the two genders amongst adults. Now, before I tell you Jordan’s theory, for those of you who know me well, know that I have never shied away from calling myself a feminist. In fact, I find that too many women start sentences with “I’m not a feminist, but…” as if it’s some horrible label that they don’t want to be associated with. There is a spectrum of feminism: you have the woman who believe all sex is a form of rape, then you have others like me, who think that feminism means to understand where woman have been, are coming from, and where we still need to go, and there is everything in between. Not to devalue my perspective of feminism as it is much more than this but it’s not what this post is about.. it’s about the theory. Here we go with Jordan’s theory:

“It’s the lock and key theory.”

“What?”

“Yeah, the lock and key theory or the master key theory.”

“Tell me more!  What is it? This ought to be good!” My head pops up from laying down on the boat as it sways back and forth in the  Spanish September sun so I can make eye contact with Jordan and the others.

“A lock that can be unlocked with any key isn’t a lock. It doesn’t work. It’s fucked. No one wants that lock if any key can unlike it, right?”

“….Go on….”

“But if you have a key that unlocks all locks, that’s just called the master key. It works on every lock and everyone wants it because they can unlock every single lock. A girl with a lock that any key can open? What good is that? But a guy with a dick… that’s just the master key and can unlock every lock. The lock, or girl, that any dick can unlock, it’s a broken lock.”

The word “broken” made the hairs on my neck stand up and made my muscles tense.

My head, that I had propped up to listen intently to Jordan’s theory flung back down and I could not hold in my laugh. We were all laughing. I can only speak for myself when I say that I wasn’t laughing because I believe this to be true, I was laughing because of the level of ridiculous this held and how I was already forming a dissertation length response on the societal double standards that women are held against. I didn’t respond with this though. I feel comfortable in my own feminism to the point where I do not feel the need to challenge every word that goes against it. I am learning, especially through travel, to appreciate and enjoy people regardless of different views or ideas. I don’t think I’m any less of a feminist because I laughed.  In fact, Jordan told me this theory with such a sense of puerility that I wanted us to put him on our pocket and keep him as a friend. He has this credulous sense about him that I can’t help but find wonderful.

Jordan created a space and an experience that allowed us to fall in love with A Coruna. He also allowed me to intrinsically challenge myself to see that I do not have to challenge every idea that goes against my stance on feminism. Now I must go to the locksmith; it turns out that I have lost the master key and my lock is, well, locked.

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the feminist in my life. she taught me all i know, including that it’s ok to laugh through the ridiculous sometimes.

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3 Responses to “this story has a key message: a coruna”

  1. ddcleve October 16, 2013 at 7:29 pm #

    There was a time in the 60’s when feminist was a hallowed wonderful word, full of freedom and joy. When it turned nasty I am not too sure but I have never lost the desire to embody what I know as the spirit of feminism.

    • lutanatravel October 16, 2013 at 8:13 pm #

      Growing up surrounded by feminist conventions, Ms. Magazines, and howling at the moon, I don’t understand why people start with “I’m not a feminist, but..” I think it’s a powerful, powerful and uplifting word and movement to associate with. However, you can see that I am learning to navigate this in a new way 🙂

  2. Ronnie October 29, 2013 at 3:36 pm #

    How you’ve told that experience celebrates a great freedom … the spirit beyond dogmatism about any -ism, no matter how important it is. The way Deb could laugh … it often took people beyond the level of belief to embodiment. Thanks for this story!

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